Last Christmas
by strwbrygrl77
Summary: What a difference a year makes in the life of Special Agent Timothy McGee. Post "House Rules". Christmas Future Fic.


**A/N: So I LOVE McGee-centric episodes but I had a sinking feeling the whole episode that his Papa was going to die and I was right. I was depressed afterwards and decided to write a McAbby future fic to make myself feel better - I hope y'all enjoy it. Happy holidays, everyone!**

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><p><strong>Christmas Eve, 2015<strong>

"Abby?"

I spoke her name softly as the doors to her lab swooshed open and I stood for a moment just inside, hesitating when I saw the darkened room and heard the silence not only of her sound system but didn't hear any whirring sounds from Major Mass Spec. _I knew I should have gone straight home. I knew that Abby wouldn't still be down here, waiting for me at 10:30 on-_

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard a soft sound coming from the inner room. As I headed for the ballistics lab that also served as Abby's more private office area, I noticed the candles burning for the first time. Knowing that there was no way Abby would leave them unattended, I began to get worried. She wasn't sitting at her desk – I would have seen her when I first came in – perhaps she was in the bathroom. I chuckled. She had been spending a lot more time in the bathroom lately – something that she blamed entirely on me.

As I stepped into the inner office, my eyes swept the room and when I spied the futon in the far corner, I found my wife. Abby had changed out of her work clothes and was now wearing a red knee length dress – one that she saved for church. She was curled up as much as her rounded belly would allow and tightly clutching Burt the hippo – her mouth open as she snored lightly. I valued my life too much to ever tell the love of my life that she snored, or that she looked absolutely adorable when she did it. Her hair was escaping from the French braid that I had helped her with this morning – and that was definitely a secret that would stay just between us. If Tony ever found out that I could do women's hair, I'd never hear the end of it.

Glancing at my father's watch on my wrist, I saw that there was still plenty of time for us to make it to Midnight Mass, if Abby was up to it. She had been getting so tired lately that I had finally convinced her last week to let Ducky draw some blood. When the results showed she was anemic, I was secretly relieved that it was something so simple. I was terrified of losing her – and I knew that my fears weren't rational. Abby's healthy and strong and so is our baby but after losing my father at this same time last year I'm a bit gun shy. I've always had my own insecurities surrounding whether or not I'd be a good father. I still couldn't believe we had-

"Tim?"

I looked down to see Abby's sleep filled eyes looking up at me. "Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

She grimaced as she rolled and squeezed Burt, causing the stuffed toy to fart. "Your son was tap dancing on my bladder all afternoon."

I grinned and kicked off my shoes as I stretched out beside her on the futon. "My son, huh? Did Ducky perform an ultrasound on you when I was in the field that I don't know about?"

Abby grinned back and grabbed my hand, placing it against her belly. "Come on, we both know it's a boy. A girl wouldn't be this much trouble."

I snorted. "You're kidding, right? If she's anything like you-"

Abby reached out and tugged on my earlobe, causing me to yelp in pain. "Do you really want to finish that sentence?"

I shook my head and rubbed my lobe to relieve the throbbing. "You've gotten a lot more violent since you got pregnant-"

"Sorry – here," she leaned in and kissed my ear, then left a trail of wet kisses down the side of my neck.

"Not to mention horny-" I moaned as I leaned into her touch.

"I was always that, McGee."

I cupped her face and pulled her lips towards mine. "I know," I breathed the words, letting them caress her skin before crashing our mouths together. I kept one hand on her cheek and the other I trailed down her side to cup her belly, smiling into our kiss as I felt our child kick under my fingers.

"Someone's awake," I panted when we pulled apart for air.

Abby groaned. "And on my bladder again – mood killer." She rubbed a hand across her belly. "Don't move, OK? I'll be right back –" she gave me a saucy wink.

"Abby-" I colored slightly, glancing at the lab door. "We're at work-"

"At 10:45pm on Christmas Eve, Timmy!"

"I think Gibbs is still in the building-"

She rolled her eyes as she struggled to her feet. "So lock the door. I'm five and a half months pregnant, McGee, and horny for my husband. And you're going to make me pee my pants standing out here arguing with you."

I surged to my knees to plant a short kiss on her lips. "Go pee – I'll lock the door."

She threw me another saucy wink over her shoulder as she waddled away and I rose to do her bidding, as my mind wandered to last Christmas, the year everything had fallen apart and I thought I'd never believe in the magic of Christmas again.

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><p><strong>Christmas Eve, 2014<strong>

"Good-bye, Dad."

I leaned down and kissed my Dad's forehead, trying not to wince at the cold skin. The tears were threatening to fall but I knew that I needed to be strong. On the other side of that door would be a crowd of people come to pay their respects but more importantly, my sister and grandmother Penny were waiting for me. I couldn't let them down. I needed to be the man my father had raised me to be: strong, steady, and for now, unemotional. Dad had never been comfortable showing his feelings and it wasn't until I had gone to work for Gibbs that I had had the sort of father-son relationship that I had been craving all my life – one complete with feelings and emotions. I could tell Gibbs how I was feeling, what I was truly thinking without fear of getting nothing but a blank stare or silence in response. Dad and I had never been the best communicators and now it was too late. He had lost the battle with cancer and now there could be no more second chances. I would have to forever live with these feelings of regret, remorse, and what if.

There was a knock at the door and I turned, knowing my final minute alone with Dad was finished. "Come in."

The door opened but instead of the priest I was expecting, Abby flew into the room, her eyes shining with unshed tears, and threw her arms around my neck. "Tim – I am so, so sorry."

For a moment, I was too stunned by her appearance to say anything, I buried my face in her hair which was down around her neck and let the tears flow. She tightened her hold as the sobs racked my body and made soothing sounds in my ear. Finally I fished a handkerchief out of my pocket and pulled away to self-consciously wipe my face.

I cleared my throat. "How did you find out?"

"Gibbs."

"Is he here too?"

"Yes – but he waited outside with Sarah and Penny – he thought it best if I came in first. Oh Tim, why didn't you call me?"

I sighed. "Abs, everything happened so fast. I didn't know how sick he was – he kept that from all of us. When I got here, he was already – we barely had any time together before-" I swallowed trying to rein in my emotions. "I called Gibbs to let him know that I wouldn't be back at work for a week or so-"

She cupped my face and my flow of words stopped. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I –I don't know. Sarah was a mess and I was trying to help her and I guess I just-"

Abby shook her head. "You were taking care of everyone else and forgot to take care of you, as usual. You look tired, Tim. Have you gotten any sleep since-"

I shook my head. "Every time I close my eyes, I keep hearing his voice-"

Abby grasped one of my hands in comfort and looked at my dad for the first time since entering the viewing room. "He looks peaceful – he's not in pain anymore, McGee."

I nodded in agreement as another knock sounded and Gibbs poked his head into the room. "People are waiting to pay their respects, McGee – you ready?"

I shrugged a shoulder. "As much as I'm ever going to be, I guess."

Abby squeezed my hand. "I'm here, and I'm not leaving."

I gave her a shaky smile as the first mourners came through the door.

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><p>Abby came back with me to the house. Penny took Sarah home with her, for which I was thankful because my sister was not in a good place mentally to stay in our family home with all the memories – the most recent being the place of Dad's death. Not that I was handling it all that well either.<p>

I was standing in my Dad's bedroom doorway, just staring at his empty bed, when Abby crept up behind me, her arms encircling me from behind. "Maybe we should have taken Penny up on her offer."

I shook my head. "I need to get started on boxing things up."

"They'll still be here tomorrow, Tim."

"The sooner I get started, the sooner I'll be done and can get back to work."

Abby's arms slipped from around my waist and she stepped in front of me, frowning. "And things can get back to normal? Tim, your father is dead. The funeral is in two days – and tonight's Christmas Eve. You can't just go on as if nothing's happened. I know you and your Dad didn't have the best relationship but he was your father-"

"Abby, stop, OK? I know you mean well but you don't know what you're talking about. Dad and I were practically strangers. I can count on one hand the number of times we talked since I joined NCIS – something which was a major sore point for him. He didn't think I had the balls to do field work. But the point is he's gone and I need to get this house ready for the next happy military family-"

"Tim, stop!" Abby raised her hands and gripped his shoulders tightly. "Do you know what I'm hearing in your voice? Regret and lots of pain – and if you won't talk to me then talk to someone else- Gibbs, Tony – Delilah-"

I shook my head. "We broke up."

Her hands dropped from my shoulders, the shock evident in her face. "When?"

"About a month ago. She met someone over there – it was inevitable really."

"I can't believe it – she dumped you? After everything you've done for her! You stuck by her through –"

"Let it go, Abs. Delilah changed after her accident and we drifted apart. When she moved to Dubai, I saw the writing on the wall but I didn't want to acknowledge it. I'm just glad we ended it before things-" I broke off, realizing what I was about to say, and to an old girlfriend of all people.

"Before things what? Tim, are you telling me that the two of you never had sex?" Abby gaped at me in surprise.

I shrugged as I turned and left my Dad's room, not wanting to discuss my lack of a sex life in his room, even if the man was dead.

"But what about all the sexting and the time Tony answered your phone and Delilah was naked?"

I chuckled. "She's still furious at him for that! I never said we didn't do stuff, all right? But no, Abs, we never had sex."

"Wow."

"Wow, what?" I couldn't help the defensive tone from creeping into my voice. "I'm not Tony. I can control my body's urges."

She shook her head. "It's not that – it's just – well, you were together for several months and I just assumed-"

"If you had asked me, I would have told you the truth. I let Tony assume we were having sex because it got him off my back. Delilah and I were very good friends and over time that friendship slowly began to evolve into something more. If her accident hadn't happened, we probably would have- why the hell am I telling you this?"

Abby grinned. "Probably to avoid talking about your father – even back when we were dating, you never wanted to talk about him."

I grimaced as I opened the door to my room and went inside. "That's because there's nothing to talk about – he was a stranger to me. He had a lot of rules, kind of like Gibbs, but where the boss man's make sense, Dad's rules were to follow and not question why. You know what I would have loved to hear from him more than anything, Abs?" I sat down wearily on my bed.

She came and sat beside me, taking my hand in both of hers. "What?"

"'I'm proud of you'- isn't that funny? Not 'I love you' – I guess little boys don't crave those words as much as girls do. No, the words I wanted were 'I'm proud of you, Son.' He died without ever saying them."

"Oh, Timmy," Abby bit her lower lip as she lowered her head to my shoulder and her breath tickled the skin of my neck.

We sat there for a long time like that, until I began to fear she had fallen asleep. When I swayed slightly from fatigue, Abby's head shot up off my shoulder to meet my eyes.

"You need sleep."

"I don't think I could-"

"I'll stay with you."

I shook my head. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

She cocked her head. "Why not?"

I cleared my throat nervously. "Because I'm grieving, fatigued, and not in control of my emotions. I might-" I broke off and lowered my gaze to our clasped hands.

The next thing I knew, Abby's lips were on mine and I moaned softly as she used her tongue to part them and push her way into my mouth. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of emotions and Abby was my shore. My hands clutched her hips desperately as she moved into my lap, straddling my hips, as her own hands tightened their hold in my hair.

I pulled away to breathe her name against her neck.

"Hmm?"

"Is this comfort sex?"

"It's whatever you need it to be."

I pulled away sharply to look her in the eye. She was staring back at me with an emotion I couldn't define, something I hadn't seen before, something I had hoped, wished to see years ago and hadn't.

"Abby – "

"Yes-"

"I need you."

She smiled as she rocked against me. "I know."

Shaking my head, I stilled her movements. "No, I need you like I've always needed you. I need your comfort, your smiles, your hugs, and most of all, I need your love." I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat. "I need you, Abby. Is that possible – can you do that?"

She leaned up and placed a short, sweet kiss on my lips. "Yes."

I couldn't believe her – I couldn't believe it could be so simple after all this time. "Just like that? What about Burt?"

She frowned. "My hippo?"

I resisted the urge to smack her – she would have enjoyed it too much. "Your ranger."

"Oh – I broke up with him."

"Why? Abby, I told you to give him another chance. Your crazy two month criteria-"

Her laughter halted my words. "I'm sitting here in your lap seconds away from getting naked and you're trying to convince me to give another guy a second chance? Do you hear yourself, McGee? If Tony could hear you now-"

"Why did you break up with him? What number on your list didn't he fulfill?"

"He wasn't you."

I blinked. I heard the words but they weren't registering. "I'm sorry, did you say-"

"I broke it off with Burt because he wasn't you, yes. And I know you were still with Delilah at the time – weren't you?"

I nodded.

"But the things you said - and then when you asked me if I had the list when we were together, I finally realized something."

"What?"

"I didn't use the list when we were together – you superseded any list, Tim. In the end you scared me off because I wasn't ready for a commitment but that was my own personal baggage that I had to deal with – and had nothing to do with you. I realized much, much later that if I had just been honest with you, told you the truth, you would have waited for me. And I know my timing is lousy and you probably won't believe me and you'll think this is just comfort sex but I do need you as much as you need me."

"I never stopped loving you – I tried but I couldn't."

Abby pressed her front to mine and pushed until my back hit the mattress. "Then love me now."

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><p><strong>Christmas Eve, 2015<strong>

I pulled Abby into the circle of my arms and tried to get my breathing under control. A thin layer of sweat coated both of us and I brushed some of her dark locks off her shoulders as our legs twined intimately together on the futon mattress.

"Mmm," Abby breathed out softly. "What time is it?"

"11:20. We should get going soon. Traffic is going to be heavy and parking will be a nightmare at St. Ignatius."

"I don't want to move."

"Fine by me. We can skip it this year-" I yelped as Abby pinched my butt. "More violence?"

She giggled. "You know you love it. We are not skipping Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, Timothy McGee. Sister Rosita would make me say a hundred Hail Marys! Besides, I want to light a candle for your father."

"Why? To get him out of hell?"

"Timothy! What is with you tonight?"

I shrugged. "Just haunted by the ghosts of Christmas' past, I guess."

She rubbed my shoulders. "That's exactly why I want to light the candle – for your father's memory. I know last year's Christmas was painful but something good came out of it too."

I lifted her left hand and kissed the finger that held her wedding ring. "More good than I could have ever imagined. I love you, Abigail McGee."

"And I love you, Timothy McGee."

Our child kicked between us and I laughed as I ran a hand down Abby's front to palm her belly. "I love you too, little one. Daddy can't wait to meet you." My heart beat faster as the kicks increased beneath my hand. "OK, settle down in there, your mom wants her insides intact please."

"That would be nice," Abby agreed as she placed her hand over mine as our child quieted. "See how he listens to you already? You're going to be a great Dad."

I sighed. "I hope so."

Abby opened her arms. "Come here." I fell into her embrace, resting my head on her breast. "I know that you secretly fear you'll turn out like your own father but Tim, can't you see that just having those thoughts and fears now is a good thing? It makes you conscious of what you don't want to become and I know you will do your best not to be a workaholic and an emotionally unavailable Dad. You are in touch with your emotions, you aren't afraid to show them, and you explain the rules that you live by instead of just blindly expect those who work with you to follow them."

I stared up at her. "You're amazing, you know that? Isn't there anything you're afraid of?"

She sobered. "Of course – I'm afraid you'll die in the field one day and leave me to raise this child alone."

"Abby-" I breathed her name on a sigh, not knowing how to reassure her for her fears were well founded in reality.

"I wasted so much time, Tim. If I had just been honest with you and not pushed you away –"

I cupped her face. "Stop, sweetheart. We're together now and all we can do is celebrate each day we have with each other. The future is unknown – all I can give you is my love and promise to be careful every time I go out. I have so much to live for, so much to come home to now."

Abby's lips met mine in a series of short passionate kisses that slowly trailed into pecks and finally I felt my wife go limp in my arms as sleep overtook her once again. I chuckled softly as I realized that there was a very good possibility we wouldn't make it to Midnight Mass this year.

I hadn't realized I had dozed off myself until the sound of the bells awoke me at midnight. One of my hands was curled around Abby's belly and the other was around her shoulders as I spooned her from behind. Our child gave another kick and my wife moaned in her sleep.

"Shh, Abs, I'm here," I dropped a kiss on her neck below her ear.

Her eyes fluttered open and she lay there for a minute listening to the bells before she turned her head to meet my eyes. "Merry Christmas, Tim."

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

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><p><strong>AN: This will NEVER happen on the show - but that's why we have fanfic! Reviews are LOVE.**


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